Reclaiming Your Story: Healing Shame, Breaking Cycles, and Returning to Self-Love

julie77nguyen
Apr 14
4 min read

Your story holds power. Yet for many of us, our past is clouded by shame, silence, or survival. In this blog, we explore how reclaiming your story—not avoiding it—can be one of the most healing and transformational things you’ll ever do. Whether you’re beginning your spiritual awakening or in deep inner work, revisiting and reframing your past helps break generational cycles and awakens deep self-love.

We all have a story.

But not all of us have looked at it—really looked.

For some, the past is something to outrun. For others, it’s a source of deep shame, regret, or confusion. And for many, it's just... unexamined.

But here’s the truth: your story matters.And not just the shiny, healed parts. I’m talking about the raw, unfiltered chapters. The ones you’ve kept buried. The moments that shaped you in ways you’re still trying to understand.

We avoid our stories because they hold discomfort.Because they remind us of what we didn’t get, who we had to become to survive, or the pain we still carry.Because shame has a clever way of saying, “Don’t look there.”But the irony is—your freedom lives in the very places you’ve been avoiding.

Why Your Story Still Lives in You

If you’ve ever worked with a therapist or coach, you’ve probably heard this:“Tell me about your childhood.”

This isn’t about rehashing the past for the sake of pain—it’s about understanding the blueprint you were given.Because the way we were raised, the emotional climate we grew up in, the beliefs we inherited—those things shape the lens through which we see ourselves and the world.

According to neuroscience, by the age of 7, most of our subconscious programming is in place.That means beliefs like:

“I have to be perfect to be loved.”
“My feelings are too much.”
“It’s not safe to ask for help.”...might still be running quietly in the background.

The Invitation to Reframe

But here’s the shift that changes everything: reframing.

Reframing is not spiritual bypassing. It’s not pretending the pain didn’t happen. It’s not saying “it’s all love and light.”

It’s the brave act of looking again—with compassion.

It’s the willingness to ask:

What else might be true here?
What strength did I develop because of that moment?
Who did I become through that experience?

When we sit with our story—not to judge it, but to witness it—we often begin to see not only the pain, but the power.We start to realize that the times we thought we were weak—we were actually surviving.That the silence, the rage, the detachment… were all intelligent, adaptive responses.And suddenly, our story becomes a mirror—not of what broke us, but of what shaped our courage.

Reclaiming What Was Lost

And here’s the beautiful, bittersweet truth:When we reframe our story, we reclaim the parts of ourselves that were lost in it.

We remember the little girl who was silenced—and give her back her voice.We meet the boy who was told not to cry—and give him permission to feel.We gather the fragmented pieces of who we were and invite them back into the wholeness of who we are now.

This is self-love.This is healing.This is liberation.

Why This Work Matters—for You and for Future Generations

This isn’t just personal work. It’s generational work.

Because unexamined stories don’t end with us—they echo forward.They show up in how we parent. In the boundaries we don’t set. In the patterns we unconsciously repeat.

I see it all the time—friends I love deeply, parenting from wounds they didn’t know they had. Passing along belief systems that were never theirs to begin with. Not out of malice—but out of unawareness.

This is why doing the work matters.Because when we heal, we interrupt the cycle.When we tell the truth of our experience, we offer the next generation a new script.

Five Ways to Begin Reclaiming Your Story

If you’re ready to begin—or begin again—here are five gentle, powerful ways to start:

Journal a memory.Start with 5 minutes. No editing. Just let your younger self speak through the page.
Name a belief.Ask yourself: “What do I believe about love, safety, or worth? Where did that belief come from?”
Notice your patterns.What repeats in your relationships, your career, or your inner dialogue? That’s your story asking to be seen.
Reconnect with your inner child.Close your eyes. Visualize them. Ask what they need from you now—and listen.
Let yourself be witnessed.Whether with a therapist, coach, or a trusted friend—healing accelerates when your story is held with love.

A Grounding Practice to Begin Right Now

If it feels safe, pause with me for a moment.

Close your eyes.Take a deep breath in… and let it out slowly.Feel your body. Your feet. Your breath.

Now imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet, anchoring you deep into the Earth.You are safe. You are held.

Let a memory rise—not the most painful one. Just one that wants to be seen.Greet that younger version of yourself with tenderness.Say:“I see you. I honor you. I reclaim you.”

Breathe that in.

This is the work.This is the sacred unfolding.This is the way home.

Ready to go deeper? Explore our Soul Sessions or join the next Energetic Mastermind for guided support in healing, integration, and empowerment.

In Light,

Julie